Married, Baby, Now What?

Christmas Time…..so joyous or that’s what we say

2009-12-17T15:46:00.003-05:00

When I was a child I enjoyed and actually look forward to Christmas each and every year, but as an adult....I dread it. I hate shopping (thank you dearest internet for making this a bit more bearable), putting up the tree (my stupid cat love this because there are so many fun things for him to play with at 3AM), and traveling all over Tim-buck-too visiting everyone.

Shopping for other adults isn't fun anymore. Why??? Because we are adults...if we want something, we buy it! We don't write Santa Clause and give him our wish list

Dear Santa,
        We need a new roof and our plumbing is about to go too. I pomise my cookies are worth it.
        I'll leave the hammer, nails, and plunger. Hope this helps!!

I've noticed that ever year, shopping gets more and more difficult...because I don't know what to get people anymore. I don't. I end up wasting money on stupid little things that end up being tossed in the closet, re-gifted, or donated to Good Will. So....going forward, I will not be buying any adult family members Christmas gift. Instead, my family is going to adopt a needy family. A family that NEEDS things...not wants them, but NEEDS them...and usually the basics things we take for granted like new undies or a winter coat...not the latest Flip Camera (which by the way is totally kick-ass....not on my list to Santa...I bought it myself) or the latest trend in Ugly Boots (play on product name here). I want to support a family that really is hurting and that will appreciate the gifts we give them...not use them for the families pink elephant gift exchange.
OR.....maybe instead, we can save the money that we would normally spend on gifts into a savings account and then use it for a family vacation each year....or we could save for 5 years and take an extravagant trip....but then again we are back to the WANTS not the NEEDS....but usually I NEED a vacation...so I could argue this point!

People I do enjoy shopping for are kids. They are fun to buy things for, but usually they get way too much stuff. So...I am resorting to the good old Saving Bonds. Every year, my nieces and nephews can expect to get a nice blank piece of paper from our trusting government ensuring them that says "we will give you double your money in just over 10 years...(or however long it takes)"....because we can trust the government with our money...I mean....look at our Social Security...that will be around forever. Phew....

I hate having a Christmas Tree. Okay, I lied. I enjoy the flickering of the lights at night like most people do, but I hate having a tree with a cat who thinks my hours of work to place each tiny ornament in just the right spot is all for his enjoyment. He spends the entire day napping, which is what cats do for a living, but during the night it is GAME ON...like he is out to win the Stanley Cup! The noise of the ornaments rolling around on the tile floor and banging against my dinning room chair at the wee hours of the morning or the noise my tree makes when his tiny little paws are batting at the next ornament to be doomed to be a hockey puck means the holiday's are here!! But you know the sound I enjoy the most....it is the cries he makes when I spray him with water trying to make him stop. Now that...is music to my ears.

Last but not least is the joyousness (is that even a word) of traveling all over hell to visit people on icy, snowy roads. Now that really brings holiday cheer to a girl! Lets all get bundled up to go visit the family and count the seconds til grandma says "pack an extra blanket in case you go in the ditch"...like 1 fricken blanket is going to do the trick. oh...and don't forget your presents, which fill the car to the rim so you can't see out any windows...that is safe for winter driving too!!

Overall though, I bitch and complain about the holidays, but I do really enjoy them. I love seeing my family open that one present that they had no idea we were getting them and they actually like it. I love eating, sharing stories with the family, and watching old classic Christmas movies, but really....I just love being with my family.

Happy Holidays!

Horn-Ball

2009-11-19T11:34:00.003-05:00

I DVRed the Oprah Show “Why Millions of Women Are Using Porn and Erotica” on Tuesday not because I was looking forward to this particular episode or anything, but to be honest with you, I DVR all of Oprah’s shows. I told you I was a dork. Anyways…I found this topic to be very interesting, because I’m one of these dirty bitches that enjoys a good erotic film every now and then.

Now, don’t misunderstand erotica for hardcore porn, it’s not even remotely the same. I’m not into Big Jim and the Twins slamming into a chick and having their pleasure juice shot all over the hot girls face…YUCK!!! Seriously…why do guys like that? It makes me feel like they treat all women as “holes”…yes holes and not whores…but they do that too I guess. Why do they like to watch that? I guess the same reason us women enjoy the “more plot” of a porn and really dig the foreplay scenes….because were not getting it at home, so we have to watch it!

There is something else about porn that I find amazing. Men watch it to jerk off too…but I’m sure most women don’t get out the lube, turn on the DVD player just to flick their bean. Nope…this is a guy thing…well okay, maybe we do it once in awhile, but the majority of us are too busy for this. More than likely, we are multi-tasking as we are enjoying our soft core porn. BUZZZ the dryer is done and you are folding cloths all while you are getting hot and bothered watching Fabio romantically kiss and fondle the hot women with absolutely no hair on her crotch and no razor burn or bumps ...(how do they do that?...and Fabio is NASTY....I think I seen him strip at one of my friends bachelorette parties and he hurt his leg! LOL).

Another thing, why do guys all get together to watch porn and go to strip clubs? I mean, do they enjoy watching their buddies get a boner? When us girls watch porn together, we seem to always be making comments like “man, he has a big one”…. “yuck, look at her tramp stamp” or “oh, cute shoes she has on”….we aren’t sitting around in silence getting excited like guys do.

Yeah, most of us would love to be able to please our man like the ladies on the movies….that is why Jenna Jameson’s book “How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale” was on the best sellers list for weeks! We all wonder…are we really good at it? Yeah, I think and (cough, cough, I don’t mean to brag) have been told I give amazing BJ’ers…but sometimes just looking at my husbands wang will make it go “off”. So is it really me doing such a great job or is it just the fact that I’m touching it for a change that is pleasure enough? I think I might need to buy this book!!

To be honest though, I’ve always been into the kinky stuff. I love Howard Stern, because he is one dirty bastard and can get girls on his show to do anything. I also really enjoy watching the WE Channels “Secret Life of Women”, which each week follows a different group of ladies where they reveal what they really do behind closed doors. For example, one week it showed how the Mail Order Bride thing worked….and did you know that these girls take classes on how to make their man happy in bed! It taught them things like what to do if the mans wiener was too big or too small….and everything in-between!!! I kinda wish we had this class in school instead of Home Ec…at least I would get some use out of it! I know there are a lot of other naughty girls out there or else this show wouldn’t be on WE, the Women’s Entertainment Network!!

Now by how much I talk about sex, you think my husband and I would be banging every night…but that just isn’t the case. We are just too tired sometimes and really are too lazy to do anything about it. Lame, yes I know….! Thank God for the movies!!

What Not To Wear

2009-11-12T11:50:00.003-05:00

I hate all my clothes; every single item. I wish it was like back when you were a kid and your mom and dad took you school shopping every year before you returned to class in the fall. Why don’t we do that for ourselves anymore? Oh I know why, because we have bills and responsibilities which doesn’t allow you to always be up on trends and fashion.

I used to get so excited to go shopping when I was a kid. There were so many wonderful things to choose from and you got to update everything. New silk shirts, hammer pants, sweater vests, you name it we got it…..not because we were fashionistas but because we grew out of last years cloths and we didn’t want to look like a tool wearing flood pants.

Well damn it, I had a kid and I “grew” out of some of my clothes too. I wanna call my mom and dad and say….hey, I know you are having financial difficulties right now, but you forgot to take me back to work shopping this year. I need a few pairs of slacks (yup…slacks just like grandma wore), bras (since my tits are now sagging down to my bellybutton) and about 5 pairs of shoes (while I was pregnant I was blessed to have my feet grow an entire size so none of my fun, cute shoes fit anymore).

Yeah, I occasionally go shopping for myself, but I feel so guilty doing it. I pick up a beautiful shirt, grabbing hold of the hanger and look at myself in the mirror and think about how hot I would look in this fine cloth….then I look at the price tag. $40 for a shirt!!!!! Shit… I can pay an entire month of electricity for that amount of money. The guilt automatically starts…..and then I decide not to buy it. Once in a great while I’ll actually purchase one of these show stoppers, but by the time I get home I have guilted myself into not taking it out of the bag so I can return it for full refund the next day.

Another thing about shopping now as an adult it that it isn’t much fun anymore. I’m not in the Forever 21 Group….because hello, I’m not 21….so give up the low cut, ass showing jeans ladies…we are old! I'm also not in the Coldwater Creek Club w/ the old lady sweaters and floral patterns bouncing all over the place. So where do I shop you ask…Target mostly and the only reason I do that is because I can also buy groceries and diapers and easily grab a hanger off some rack of a $10 shirt when I walk by it and then wait to try it on until I get home…why?...because it isn’t fun trying on clothes w/ a screaming baby and I know I’ll be coming back to Target tomorrow to buy some more crap that I forgot to get on the 1st trip!....and well…I love Target!

Someday, I will be so far behind on fashion that I will be that girl in People Magazine with the blacked out face with the caption “OUT DATED” with a photo of a hot celebrity next to me who is wearing the newest trend with “LOVE IT” or something stupid like that for the title. My kids will be so embarrassed by my clothing and how I look that they will submit me to be on What Not To Wear and I will win…if you can really win on that show.

Man, if you are my friend…please don’t let it ever come to that!! If I look like a douche, tell me and then take me shopping.

You Look Tired

2009-11-05T12:52:00.006-05:00

Everyone has those days where things just don’t go their way from start to end. You wake up, trip and fall on a toy that is next to your bed, get soap in your eyes while showering, spill coffee on your shirt on your commute to the office and then to top it all off someone says “Man, you look tired” or nicely saying “You look like shit”.

I don’t understand people, I really don’t. If someone looks tired, maybe you shouldn’t point it out to them. Maybe they had a long night with a screaming baby, are exhausted, feel like total crap-ola and are just trying to get through the God offal day without a smart ass comment form the office douche telling them in a nice way that they look like poop. Seriously, I know I look like I stopped in and visited with Satan on my way to work, but I would really appreciate you not pointing it out to me.

Another problem with the “You look tired” statement is that sometimes you really did try to get ready and look good. For once, you had a little extra hop in your step and were feeling positive about life until some meathead walks up and changes it all with 3 little words. F-ing Great! Your day goes downhill from that moment on.

Monthly Visitor

2009-10-27T12:59:00.004-04:00

I don’t know about you, but I hate being a girl for one reason….having my period. There are many reasons I dislike my monthly visitor: it makes me crazy, I act like a bitch, I over analyze things, and my fuse is really short. But the thing that I hate the most about having my period is being scared that I’m not going to get it. Yes, no matter how much I hate having it; I’m more scared of missing it.

Every 30 days, when “that time of the month” is near, I start to panic.

Oh God, what if I’m pregnant…

Then you start to think about the last time you “Did IT”. Did you sit to long enjoying the after sex glow without running to the bathroom to pee to get the love juice outta ya…. (I know this isn’t a proven birth control method, but in my sick head I think if I pee afterwards that the sperm is just going to go down the drain)….. or maybe accidently missing that one day of birth control pills messed up my cycle and now I’m knocked up.

Then you start to really panic.

What if I’m pregnant….

I really shouldn’t have had that 12 pack the other night….

how am I going to have 2 babies in diapers at the same time…..

I don’t think we can afford 2 kids yet….

and simply I DON’T WANT TO HAVE A BABY RIGHT NOW.

For those of you without children this is really friggin scary. You think….. who is the daddy (yeah, you know you ask yourself that)…..

my life is over as I know it…..

and again I DON’T WANT TO HAVE A BABY.

You notice that even if you aren’t a religious person that you all of a sudden find God and start praying to him….

Lord, if you make my period come, I promise I’ll never miss a pill again….

or for you lucky ladies that have multiple men in your life….Lord, I promise I’ll make sure the guy wears a condom or even ….

Lord, I’ll never have sex with random strangers again!

When you sit down to pee, you wipe extra hard and then stare at the toilet paper hoping for the littlest sign of blood or even the brownish stuff. After you see none of this, you panic even more….

should I take a pregnancy test…

what if it comes back positive…what am I going to do.

Then you tell yourself to just pretend everything is fine and wait one more week to buy a pregnancy test, because hey….Aunt Flow might just be too busy for a visit…right?

And why are pregnancy tests so damn expensive and they give you like 1 or 2. Come on…if I get a positive, I’m going to need to see about 10 of them showing the little pink plus sign, not 2!

Then, when your monthly visitor does arrive you are very thankful but it doesn’t take long and you soon forget your promise to God and you go through it all over again next month.

Getting it out there

2009-10-23T12:40:00.002-04:00

Yeah, I know it is Flashback Friday…but I need to get something off my chest b/c I think I might be loosing my mind. Besides, what like 3 people read this thing...so I'm sure you will not care!

1^st, my husband doesn’t think I’m fun anymore and to be honest, neither do I. When I come home from work, I’m tired and want to go to bed because I know in a few hours I will be up with my 4 month old and the rest of the night will just be naps in-between the “shhh-ing” and feeding. I hate this. I don’t hate my child; I love him and would do anything for him…that is why I do this over and over each night. I long for the nights my husband has off and I have to work the next day, because that means I get a night off. I know that is wrong to say, but it is the truth. I want to sleep all night without waking up…even though my internal clock goes off at just about the exact time my son is about to start scream crying, but at least I don’t have to wake up with him.

2^nd, I hate my friggin job…I really do. With my last job I used to feel important and had responsibilities, but now I’m just an overpaid, overqualified babysitter for middle aged people. Seriously, I am. I feel like I have to pick-up after kids, plan their parties and fix their house. I get paid very well for what I’m doing, but it doesn’t mean I like it.

3^rd, I have no friends that live by me and those that do have their own life and don’t want to play with me….well…because like my husband said, I’m boring. It sucks that even when I want to escape my house, that I have no place to go besides Target and I am poor so really what is the point of walking in there….more torture please???

4^th, my husband and I would really like to move to our hometown, but then I would have to take a pay cut…and not just a little one…over half!!! I have so many bills right now that I don’t even think that if I did find a job there, which will never happen, that we wouldn’t be able to move because we wouldn’t be able to afford to live. We were talking last night and are thinking that maybe in 5 years we could move home. This makes me sad. I want to be by my friends and family. I want friends to just drop over and visit just because they were in the area and to go to my families house for dinner and it not be on a weekend!

5^th, I want to live in a house and not an apartment anymore. I really enjoy my place now, but I would love to be able to have a garden or even cut my own grass. Oh…and paint the walls…why oh why can’t we paint the friggin walls in apartments. Hate that all of them are stark white…can we say institution? We actually have been saving to buy a house and we could…but what would be the point? We don’t know where we are going to be next year so owning a home would just make us “stuck” in some local that we would probably end up needing to leave.

There….now I feel a little better, but still need to get a good cry out I think. Oh, yes…you are right, I have a visitor coming this weekend…good old “Aunt Flow”….so that is probably why I feel like I’m losing my mind.

Flashback Friday: Camping in a Cemetery

2009-10-16T15:13:00.002-04:00

I’ve always been a little on the kooky side, but don’t think I’m all goth like when I tell you this weeks flashback story about camping in a cemetery. We didn’t perform any séances or drink the blood from a bat. To be honest, if it were not for boys and booze (can you see a pattern in these flashback stories yet) I doubt if we would have camped in a cemetery at all.

I don’t know who came up with the idea, all I know is that we were in 8^th/9^th grade and a group of much older boys had invited us young girls to go parting with them at the infamous Wheatland Cemetery. Let me explain to you a little something about Wheatland….it is an old abandoned cemetery filled with people who were killed in the Sanilac County Fire of 1881. It is creepy and it is dark. It has no lights and there is grass and trees growing over everything. It looks like something you would see in the scariest of all movies. Seriously, it is spooky.

We didn’t camp in the cemetery…but right out side the old iron gates. And to be honest, we didn’t do much camping there either….instead we drank, smoked, and tried to act like we were much older than we were….and it worked. Wheatland ended up being a hangout spot for us. Each weekend a group of us girls would say we were staying at a friend’s house and then instead of actually going there we would head out to the cemetery and party like it was the end of the world.

There would be hooking up in the back of cars, people passing out by fire pits, and one drunk friend even threatened “I’m fucking walking home guys, I’m fucking walking home”, yet I’m sure he was so messed up that he didn’t even know his name. Each morning we would sneak back home with leaves in our hair, piss in our pants (another trend that keeps occurring in my blogs), and smiles on our faces. Oh…those were the good ol’ days!

One of my favorite Wheatland stories happened our first night there. We were not going to camp out, just party with the guys and head home….but my best friend got a little too messed up. I remember she was wearing a body suit, you know…a grown women onesie…it had snaps in the crotch and everything. She could hardly stand, let alone squat in the woods to pee, so me being her best friend (this is the bitch that made me pee out the window years later…but I got her back ...that story at a later date) unbuttoned her jeans (yeah, they were in back then; stupid buttons), unsnapped her onesie, and held her while she peed. After this episode, I realized there was no way we were going to be able to bring her back to our friend’s house without getting busted for drinking so I needed to sober her up quickly. I did what any friend would do, I made her run. “RUN BITCH RUNNNNN” , I yelled to her over an over. Remember, I was young and dumb and didn’t realize that slamming coffee and running wasn’t going to make you sober, but damn it was a funny thing to watch. She was tripping and falling all over the place. I am actually laughing while I write this. It really was one hell of a site to see.

After all my tricks and tactics….I realized she really couldn’t make it home with us and we had to leave her behind. We were nervous to leave her there, but knew her older brother was around and would hopefully make sure nothing bad happened to her. She lived to make many more trips to Wheatland, but needless to say she didn’t drink much after that visit.

Flashback Friday

2009-10-09T09:09:00.003-04:00

One of my friends told me I should write about some of the crazy events I've experienced in my past. That sounded like a soap opera didn't it??? Marlana from Days of Our Lives is always talking about her very mysterious past...well mine isn't so puzzling, just nuts. Anywho...I've decided to make a fun play on words and have all Friday entries be my "flashback" to the past.

To be honest, I don't know where to begin. In my 30 years of life, I've encountered numerous loonies, had many adventures that should have resulted in my death and those random occurrences that make you ask yourself "did that really just happen". Well, for me all these things are pretty much normal. Oh....where do I start....how about the Fast Lanes, Fat Asses and the Greyhound Bus story....that is always a fun one to tell. By the way, I totally just made up the name of the story, usually we just call it the Pissing out the Window story, but this other title is wayyyy cooler. It goes a little something like this......

I'm guessing we had to be about 16 or 17 years old when we decided to take a 2 hour road trip to visit my best friend's brother at college for a fun filled weekend of boys, booze and parties. Three of us packed up, not forgetting our beer of course, and headed on our way. What road trip doesn't include a few "roadies", so I started to down beer after beer. After about 30 minutes into the trip, I needed to pee. Now mind you, I have the smallest bladder on the planet. My friends have ripped on me about this for my entire life. I'm not going to lie; I'm like a 50 year old man with prostate problems. Seriously, I wake up like 10 times a night to go pee only to have a trickle. I have issues and peeing a lot is only the tip of the iceberg. Anyway, my friend who was driving and who was not drinking (thank God one of us was responsible) was well aware of my bladder control trouble, told me that this was my last stop and next time she was going to make me go out the window. I thought for sure she was joking. She was my friend, she would pull the car over, or so I thought. I did what any normal teen would do, I continued to drink. I was on vacation, having fun, living free and partying like I was in college and my bladder was not about to stop me.

We were having fun. Scream singing "SHE'S GOT BETTY DAVIS EYES", guzzling beer and enjoying the ride when it hit me. PEE...I had to go. I nicely asked my best-est friend in the entire world to stop the car so I could go potty. She said she had warned me, wasn't about to stop and for me to go out the window. I sat there and thought about it. I didn't have the right equipment to pee in a bottle like a boy and I didn't want to show up to my first college campus with wet pants. I made the decision that I was going to try and pee out the window, but when I looked out I realized we were doing 80 in the fast lane of the expressway, which was going to make this all that more difficult. If I wasn't half in the bag and my drunken superpowers hadn't kicked in I wouldn't have done it, but with enough liquid courage anything was possible.

I took off my seatbelt, because really....why would I need that thing on if I was going to be hanging my fat ass out of a window doing 80mph. I brought up both feet onto the seat, pulled down my pants and stuck my butt out. Who would have thought that when you stretched your arms out that they would perfectly fit the width of the car window making it ideal to stabilize me while I pee'd? My friend was laughing so hard that she didn't realize she had slowed the car down, which was allowing all the other traffic to pass by my pissing ass...well vag really...but you understand what I'm getting at. I remembered looking back and seeing a Greyhound Bus, I'm guessing full of seniors heading to the casino, staring at me in complete and utter disgust. Yeah, I got a few honks and "YEAH BABY", but I'm sure most people were appalled.

Still to this day, I can't believe I pissed out of a moving vehicle on the expressway and didn't die. I would never do it now...>I would much rather wet my pants. Do me a favor...if any of you know my child...NEVER TELL HIM THIS STORY!!! But, I guess he has the right equipment and could go in a bottle.

Unsolicited

2009-10-07T12:51:00.007-04:00

Why is it that everyone knows what is best for you, well except for you? You think you know, but your friends, family and even the random cashier at the grocery store insist that whatever you are doing isn't right and that you need to do it their way or they've heard about this other way. Whatever the suggestion, it is definitely much better than what you are doing! Seriously, why do people do this?

It isn't just the fact that people are giving me advice, because I like advice. I even welcome it, but only when I ask for it. For example, I was recently talking to my mom about how my baby randomly spits up and she butts in "Well, you are holding the bottle wrong. I think you should hold it this way" as she makes some random 90 degree angle with her arm. Um... hello, who asked you? You wanted to know how the baby was so I decided to have a nice conversation with you. I didn't ask for pointers, but instead that is what I got. Now, I don't know about you, but when someone does this to me I get pissed....real pissed. I'm guessing that I hate it so much because these no-it-alls are basically trying to to tell me that I'm a complete f**k up, what I am doing is wrong and to top it off....their way is SUPERIOR!!!

Now there are those random times when these do-gooder's advice might actually come in handy, but how they deliver the advice without making you look like an idiot takes skills. You can't suggest that someone is doing something wrong, but rather encourage them by sharing your experiences with them. For example, my mother could have nicely said "When you were a baby, you also spit up a lot, so I changed the position of how I held the bottle and that seemed to help"...in which I would have asked her to show me this wonderful position that she dreamed up. See....now that wasn't hard. So before you pipe up and share your wizardry know-how and what to do's with your friend, ask yourself if this person you are about to share your wealth of knowledge with really wants advice or maybe just wants to chat!

And besides MOM....here is a little advice for you...you were holding the bottle wrong...my baby likes the way I hold it...he had a cold and that is why he was spitting up!!! SCORE 1-1!!!

Dirty Diapers. Not the babies....your's

2009-09-28T13:42:00.007-04:00

We’ve all had the occasional sneeze accompanied by a little pee in your panties or the infrequent shart which leaves a nasty stain in your undies, but that is not what I’m talking about. Instead I am referring to the day your friend told you a joke which made you laugh so hard that you pissed your pants or the morning after an all night drinking binge when you didn’t realize that the brown bear knocking at your back door was actually planning on running down your leg!!! These rare events happen to all of us, even to those of you who are saying right now (insert snotty tone here) “It has never happened to me before”. You are just lying to yourself, it has happened and it isn’t that big of deal…just a funny story waiting to be told!

“If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis”…seriously, I am Miles Davis. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve pissed my pants laughing so hard. It isn’t like I don’t try to get to the bathroom or I need to practice my kegels more. It’s just that sometimes things are really funny and instead of holding in my laughter, I let it out…literally all out! We all have our little way of telling those around us what we are doing. I tend to say “Stop, stop, I’m going to pee”, even though I am already doing it. One of my best gal pals always declares “I peed a little” as she stands there with her legs crossed, crouched down and hands on her crotch. A family member of mine always says “Stop, I’m going to piss my pants” with tears streaming down her face, which is then followed by “I just did”. I love it. You know when you are around these pissers that you have to be prepared to join them. How can you not? I sometimes think it is funnier to watch them pee then what originally made them laugh this hard to begin with.

“Shit. It happens”. The only time we are really open about sharing poop stories is when it comes to our kids. Most mom conversations start something like “JR hasn’t pooped in days” or “Suzzy’s poopies are really green and runny”. It is easy to share these shitty stories about our children, but to say “I was getting ready to walk into the grocery store and felt the rumbles start in my tummy and next came the warm drips down my leg”. It really isn’t something you share with everyone, just your close friends. I actually just got a call the other day from an amazing friend of mine who told me about her latest poopy adventure to the park with her kids. She felt the bubbles start and was trying to hurry the kids into the bathroom so she could go, but it was too late. The next thing she knew it was running down her leg and her little one was saying “Mommy’s pooping???” How great is that?

We’ve all encountered and/or experienced these incidents, but usually feel too embarrassed to share your story with anyone. Well, now is the time to get it off your chest. Tell me how you shit your pants jogging or the movie you went to see and laughed so hard you peed in your pants. But better yet, tell me how you got out of the situation or what you did next!! I can’t wait to read the comments/stories from this entry!

We have a first timer on our hands

2009-09-25T12:53:00.001-04:00

So, I just got into the "blog world". I've heard all about it, but really haven't done much with it. I'm funny and somewhat creative....so I thought I would give it a try!

I got married a year ago and just recently had my first baby; he is 3 months old. Now don't think I had a shotgun wedding (not that there is anything wrong with that) b/c I was preggers....he came early...6 weeks to be exact. I love both my husband and little boy dearly and I wouldn't change anything!! I hope you don't think I am being a Debbie Downer or Negative Nelly when I say what is on my mind next.... Married, Baby...Now What??? Seriously though...

No, I'm not saying what about poor me I don't have my own identity or what is next in my life. Instead I'm saying I just don't know how to handle all this change. It kinda all started like this......

I was having problems adjusting to being a mom and my son wasn't sleeping well (what baby does at 3 months...except for a few of you lucky parents) so I thought I would head to a local bookstore to find some great help book to "teach" me how to handle all of this change. Yeah, they had books that taught you how to bath and change your babies diapers and what to expect next...stuff like that...but no book that said "SHIT, I just had a baby now what?". I wasn't looking for some nice refined guide, instead I wanted someone to be open and tell me what was up and that what I was feeling and going through was normal. Things like, my son hasn't pooped in days and I have to give him a suppository.... help. Nope, no such book.

I know a lot of you feel the same way as I do. Like, how do I go through this ____(insert change in life here). What do I do now? We've all had that feeling and wondered what or where to go to. Yes, we have our friends, but sometimes even they don't have the answers. I'm not claiming that I'll have the answers, but rather more questions!!! Feel free to chime in whenever.

So, this Blog is going to be dedicated to helping those moms, wife's, girlfriends, and friends, that want real, raw, and honest advice. I want you to act like this blog is your bestest friend in the entire world.

Whew....that felt good.