Dirty Diapers. Not the babies....your's

We’ve all had the occasional sneeze accompanied by a little pee in your panties or the infrequent shart which leaves a nasty stain in your undies, but that is not what I’m talking about. Instead I am referring to the day your friend told you a joke which made you laugh so hard that you pissed your pants or the morning after an all night drinking binge when you didn’t realize that the brown bear knocking at your back door was actually planning on running down your leg!!! These rare events happen to all of us, even to those of you who are saying right now (insert snotty tone here) “It has never happened to me before”. You are just lying to yourself, it has happened and it isn’t that big of deal…just a funny story waiting to be told!

“If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis”…seriously, I am Miles Davis. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve pissed my pants laughing so hard. It isn’t like I don’t try to get to the bathroom or I need to practice my kegels more. It’s just that sometimes things are really funny and instead of holding in my laughter, I let it out…literally all out! We all have our little way of telling those around us what we are doing. I tend to say “Stop, stop, I’m going to pee”, even though I am already doing it. One of my best gal pals always declares “I peed a little” as she stands there with her legs crossed, crouched down and hands on her crotch. A family member of mine always says “Stop, I’m going to piss my pants” with tears streaming down her face, which is then followed by “I just did”. I love it. You know when you are around these pissers that you have to be prepared to join them. How can you not? I sometimes think it is funnier to watch them pee then what originally made them laugh this hard to begin with.

“Shit. It happens”. The only time we are really open about sharing poop stories is when it comes to our kids. Most mom conversations start something like “JR hasn’t pooped in days” or “Suzzy’s poopies are really green and runny”. It is easy to share these shitty stories about our children, but to say “I was getting ready to walk into the grocery store and felt the rumbles start in my tummy and next came the warm drips down my leg”. It really isn’t something you share with everyone, just your close friends. I actually just got a call the other day from an amazing friend of mine who told me about her latest poopy adventure to the park with her kids. She felt the bubbles start and was trying to hurry the kids into the bathroom so she could go, but it was too late. The next thing she knew it was running down her leg and her little one was saying “Mommy’s pooping???” How great is that?

We’ve all encountered and/or experienced these incidents, but usually feel too embarrassed to share your story with anyone. Well, now is the time to get it off your chest. Tell me how you shit your pants jogging or the movie you went to see and laughed so hard you peed in your pants. But better yet, tell me how you got out of the situation or what you did next!! I can’t wait to read the comments/stories from this entry!